Sweet Queen Read online

  The men arrived at the lodge and piled out of the vans they typically took to the river. It was only around four, so Cal scheduled a meeting with the lodge manager for the next day and stopped by his cabin to pick up a few things on his way into town.

  After a brief interview with a very shocked banker, his fifteen coffee cans of cash had been converted into a retirement fund, an investment portfolio and a hefty savings account set aside for a down payment on a new home.

  He felt lighter, not only because of the sheer weight of the cash he’d carried into town, but also because he was making strides toward a future that looked altogether brighter, less lonely, and more meaningful.

  Cal’s mother died when he was only four, and his father raised him in a small, one-room cabin in the hills until he was old enough to start middle school. They spent part of their time with his grandparents in town, with long stretches in the wilderness during the warmer parts of the year. Cal’s attendance, and therefore his grades, suffered greatly. He was a bright child, but his intelligence was applied to learning things his father considered useful skills — trapping, fire making, shelter building, and game tracking. His existence was purely functional, not a soft or sentimental influence to be had. It wasn’t a bad life, but it was different than many other people and being around men like Alex and Victor had begun an ache in him for a more fulfilled existence, one where he wasn’t completely alone.

  Cal couldn’t resist the urge to peek into the windows of Shelli’s bakeshop on the corner, just a few feet down from Isabel’s tattoo parlor. The building was well kept with cheery plants in the front window boxes and a long display case out in front of the commercial kitchen. The windows were dark and empty, but he stood staring in, picturing her dancing around to her pop music and getting her small, upturned nose speckled with flour. On a different day, when all his plans were set in motion, he would come in the front door at the end of a long day and quietly step behind her, his hands spanning her hips, his lips against the soft satiny heat of her neck. She would turn and smile, softly saying his name as he swept her into his arms and it would all be perfect — that is if she could ever forgive him for insisting they should remain apart, for leaving her behind. The bank drafts, the house plans — all of those things formed a positive step in the right direction, but the truly important work had only begun.

  11

  Shelli

  A warm breeze ruffled Shelli’s hair as she rocked back in her chair with her heels tucked underneath her and a warm cup of herbal tea cradled in her palms. Her ‘quick’ trips to see Marta, her spice supplier and chili grower, high in the hills always turned into more of a day-long escape from her normal life.

  “Thank you for having me, Marta,” she smiled over at the much older woman, dividing dried herbs as she rocked slowly beside her on the wide veranda. “Those new golden varieties you showed me look stunning, I can’t believe you developed those yourself.” The woman was a master of developing flavors in her produce through careful attention to detail and a whole host of “special” ingredients, which Shelli was pretty sure amounted to mostly old wives tales and some kick-ass compost.

  “Oh Shelli, you know you’re always welcome here. I packed you up some extra of that tea you love so much and a new variety for you to try over the next few weeks. It should help with the nausea.” Marta kept her eyes on her hands swiftly filtering through the herbs as she spoke, and Shelli’s head came up sharply at the mention of the nausea. She narrowed her eyes at the other woman suspiciously, she was known be a healer and midwife back before Espanola built a new medical center and Shelli was sure Rita had called her to let her know about the baby before she made her trip. Rita was the only other person Shelli had confided in about her pregnancy — it was hard to keep it a secret when she purchased the tests — but she had not mentioned it to Mina yet. She knew the other woman wouldn’t be okay about she not telling Cal, and she wasn’t ready to talk about their future, either together or apart, just yet.

  “Rita called you, didn’t she? I’m just fine, Marta, I’ve only had a little nausea in the first few weeks and a little extra tiredness. I’m almost out of the first trimester already.”

  “She’s just worried about you, mija. And I’m glad she let me know before you came because I have something for you.” Marta rose up out of her chair slowly, stretching her worn knees as she came around her basket of herbs to the front door. She retreated inside leaving Shelli alone to sip her tea in peace for a few blissful minutes.

  Resting her hands on her belly lightly, she pictured what her child might look like. Would it have Cal’s coarse, wavy hair or her own silky auburn strands? Would it be a boy or a girl? She knew she would have to tell Cal about the baby eventually. Not only did they run in such tight circles his finding out was inevitable, but she also couldn’t deny her child the influence of a strong father. She pictured Cal being kind, fair, loving and strict with a child just as a father should be, just as she wished her own had been. Instead he’d been distant and cold, calculating and cruel. Shivering a little, she curled tighter into herself, sipping the last of her warm tea; grateful Marta had packed her extra of the sweet aromatic brew.

  Creaking caught her attention as Marta shuffled back out, closing the screen door with a soft click behind her.

  “Here you are, mija.” Something soft and round bumped onto her hands as Marta settled heavily into the rocking chair beside her. Shelli looked down; a soft knit cap and matching booties in a pale mint green rested on her hands. Fingering the soft texture of the wool, she looked up to Marta, the other woman’s eyes a little misty with tears.

  “You’re going to be a good mother, Shelli. I don’t know why you’ve chosen to keep this to yourself so far, but it takes a village to raise a child, and we will all be with you when you’re ready.”

  Standing, she threw her arms around Marta’s neck, soaking in the soft smells of herbs and potting soil that pervaded her everyday attire. Her visits to this remote piece of paradise always renewed her sense of belonging, of family in the valley and today was no different.

  “Thank you, Marta. This makes it feel so much more real. You’re going to have to stick close by your phone until this baby comes because I know I’m going to have a ton of questions.”

  “I’ll be here to answer them, happily so. Sometimes I see no one but the plants for far too long. You’ll have to bring the little one up so I can teach them everything I know.”

  Shelli rose laughing, her empty teacup dangling from her fingers as she turned to go inside. “If we do that, they’ll be here forever. I thought you knew everything.”

  Marta smirked back a wise grin on her face. “That’s right and don’t you forget it.”

  She laughed to herself as she carried in the empty cup and washing out in the wide porcelain sink in the kitchen. The sun was slowly sinking over the hills and it would take her almost an hour to traverse the winding roads back down into the valley.

  “Thank you for your hospitality, Marta and for the beautiful gift.” She hugged the shorter woman up in an affectionate embrace, glad to have another confidante during the early stages of her pregnancy.

  “I already loaded up your order for you in the back. Don’t stay gone so long this time and be careful driving back.”

  Shelli bid her goodbye, climbing spryly into the driver’s seat of her large SUV and pulling away. She started down the steep gravel drive before turning out onto a logging road that wound around the hillside in sharp switchbacks. The road was narrow and the gravel loose so she always drove cautiously. As the crow flies, Marta’s house was less than ten miles from the compound, but the steep terrain and lack of official roadways made the journey difficult.

  Nearing the bottom of the hill, she let her mind wander to how and when she could tell Mina. The Honeys’ president would no doubt be excited about their newest little club member, but she felt she still needed some time to manage her own expectations and prepare herself to deal with the fallout from
telling Cal.

  The gift from Marta lay in the seat beside her, a tangible reminder of the small life growing inside her. For the first time in a very long time, Shelli felt purposeful and powerful. She had officially overcome her circumstances with a fulfilling career, a support network of welcoming women and a precious piece of the first man to treat her with the care and respect she could now acknowledge she deserved. It felt right and pure and hopeful for the first time in so long.

  She settled further into the driver’s seat, the warmth of her afternoon spent with Marta, the remnants of calm from her herbal tea and the light pop music pumping through her speakers lulling her into a happy daze. She could get through today and tomorrow and the next day, telling Cal and parenting alongside him. Maybe one day, they’d be a complete family, the likes of which neither of them had the privilege of experiencing before.

  As she was mulling over the possibilities she heard a loud cracking sound to her left, higher up in the tree line. She slowed, peering out her lowered window up the hill, trying to see if wildlife were moving through the woods. She turned down her music and smiled softly at the thought of catching a glimpse of a baby bear cub similar to the ones Cal had described to her. She’d been affectionately calling the little life in her tummy baby bear as a tribute to him, and each time she said it to herself she felt a little tremor of excitement, of hope.

  A thunderous sound followed the cracking, getting louder with every second and the thick tree cover in front of her prevented her from seeing the source of the noise until it was too late. Twenty logs broke free from a logging truck higher up the hill and careened toward her vehicle at an alarming rate of speed. The last thing she remembered was a swath of thick brown bark flying straight toward her head, the sickening crunch of metal and wood, the screeching of tires against gravel as she was pushed from her position on the side of the narrow road. Her heart went cold and numb and her only fear was for her unborn child as everything faded to black.

  12

  Cal

  Heavy droplets of sweat crested Cal’s brow as he topped his last peak for the day. He’d taken out across a stretch of the continental divide trail that snaked through the tops of the hills surrounding the valley. It was a difficult hike for even the most experienced outdoorsman and he relished the burn in his muscles as he wrapped up the end of his stride. Because he was on a short — 15 mile — daytrip, his pack was lightweight and partially empty, but it was late in the day and the sun was moving past its peak.

  Cal agreed to scout this remote section of the land surrounding the resort as one of the last strenuous missions he would perform before he took on lighter duty. His new schedule would take some getting used to — shorter days, fewer overnight treks and more time spent flying with Victor — but overall his yearly pay wouldn’t be any less and he would work fewer odd hours and odd jobs. Going into hunting season with half his usual guided trips made him feel a little like a slacker, but he was happy to still be serving his favorite, faithful clients without the awkwardness of adapting to new or inexperienced hunters. Cal was glad to be making strides in the right direction, but was unsure how to broach the topic of moving back into Shelli’s life. It was almost three months since he’d last seen her and he was hesitant to remerge so soon after telling her he needed space. He just hadn’t expected his scheduling to be so lenient or else he would have made the change years before.

  He stuck his walking sticks deeper into the dirt as he crested the rise and began his descent. High above the valley, in the pristine silence the wilderness offered he normally found peace of mind. He rarely left the woods without finding clarity, but today seemed different. There was uneasiness about it setting him on edge. Even the birds were nearly silent, an oddity in the warm early fall air.

  As he breached a clearing and stepped out onto the empty gravel logging road running below the trail, Cal watched a heavily loaded logging truck 200 yards away swaying precariously as it rounded a sharp switchback. The straps stretched and strained under the weight of the careening logs as the vehicle veered sideways around the sharp curve in the road.

  “Jeez, those guys never pay attention to their loads.” He shook his head as it rounded the bend, disappearing from sight as he walked slowly down the road after it. Shaking off the encounter, he forced his legs to move further down the road, imagining the meal waiting for him when he made his way to the lodge, fantasizing that maybe, just maybe Shelli had a hand in preparing it. He promised himself pieces of pie, hot rolls and all of the carb-loaded goodness he could imagine and marched forward down the road with renewed determination. Nearing the switchback, he heard a great groaning sound and a sharp snap, directly in front of him.

  “Oh, shit. That had to be the truck.” He took off into a fast sprint around the bend, urging his burning muscles to comply and catching sight of the truck carrying on unknowingly down the mountain as the top of his load, twenty logs tied down separately from the rest, careened downhill toward the lower road.

  Lurching over the edge of the trail, Cal careened down the steep hillside after the logs, the difficulty of the terrain and the heavy pull of gravity on the much larger logs causing him to lose sight of them as they dropped. His feet slipped and slid across the slick pine needles on the forest floor, dirt raining down behind him as he ran. Midway down the steep slope between the two levels of the winding road, he heard the very sound he feared — the sickening crunch of metal bending and tires skidding on the steep gravel.

  The deafening sound brought forth a burst of speed that fed from the dregs of the well of his stamina and he sprinted through the trees the remaining hundred yards to the road. There were deep gashes in the gravel and a few logs scattered across the roadway. Dread flipped over in his stomach as he cautiously moved to the edge of the lane, carefully peering out across the steep ravine below to catch sight of the damaged vehicle. He pulled his satellite phone out, already dialing the number of the lodge response team as he edged closer to the ravine.

  “Hey, this is Cal. I’m out on route three about two miles up from the valley on a logging road south of the continental trail. Yeah, that’s the one. A logger lost part of his load on the switchback, and it took out another vehicle.” He grabbed hold of a tree trunk and leaned down to have a better look, catching the steely glint of a large silver SUV lying on its side at the bottom of the ravine.”

  “Yep, down in the ravine. We’ll need a heavy tow for sure and probably first aid. Twenty minutes? Yeah, that’s…” He trailed off as he caught sight of a small logo decal on the corner of the driver’s side rear window. The gently curved lines of Shelli’s catering logo stood out like a beacon amongst the foliage cradling her damaged vehicle.

  “No, no, no. Twenty minutes isn’t near fast enough. I need you here now. I’m going down.” He slammed the antenna of his sat phone down hard, ignoring the sounds of protest from the dispatcher on the other end of the line, ready to throw himself over the side of the ravine toward the vehicle, the response team be damned. But first he had another call to make. He reopened the phone and punched the numbers in violently with shaking fingers, a brief flare of relief burning through him when Victor answered on the other end.

  “Get a flight plan set for Taos. Shelli’s been in an accident on the mountain, and she may need an airlift. I’ll bring her straight to you.”

  He slapped the phone shut again, without waiting to hear Victor’s answer. He knew the other man would take care of the prep work and rally the troops for Shelli’s aid.

  Ripping open his backpack, he pulled out a thick bundle of paracord he kept for emergencies and a lightweight harness. Never before had the snaps and latches on his bag seemed so difficult to work, so opposite his intent. Tying off to the thickest trunk he could find, he began his descent, almost thirty feet down to the upturned driver’s side door of the SUV. He hadn’t seen any movement from the vehicle yet and the lack of activity down below was concerning.

  A single log lay wedged up against the cap
sized belly of the vehicle and there was a nasty, deep gash running down the length of one side, but overall the frame wasn’t terribly mangled. As he neared the door, he began pushing his way through the brush more frantically. He could see Shelli, face down against the steering wheel, her airbag still encapsulated in the center. With the impact from the logs hitting the vehicle from the side rather than head-on, there was a high likelihood the safety feature had not been triggered. If it hadn’t gone off and she wasn’t moving, that meant there was a severe risk of a head injury.

  “Shelli, Shelli, baby. I’m here and I’m going to get you out, all right? Just hold tight a few more minutes for me.” His soothing tone and reassuring words were voiced in vain. When he pushed back the log enough to pry open the door, Shelli was completely unresponsive. Her head bore a deep gash on one side, the front of her cotton cream-colored blouse completely soaked with the deep red stain of blood. He gently unclipped her seatbelt and placed his hands alongside her neck, feeling for signs of injury. It wasn’t swollen or bent into a strange configuration so he moved on, gripping her wrist and calculating her pulse as he tried to get her to rouse.

  “Shelli, it’s time to wake up now, sweetheart. We’ve got to get you out.”

  Her body was completely limp and try as he might, he couldn’t get a response from her. He stripped off his shirt to clean up the blood around her head, smearing himself in the process. Helpless minutes passed as he waited for the medics to arrive, and he spent them whispering words of encouragement to her, trying desperately to stop the bleeding while sharp, cold tears streaked down his face. Only when a warm hand gripped his shoulder and forcibly moved him back from the vehicle, did he realize he was no longer alone. The medics braced Shelli’s back and pulled her up the side of the ravine with a pulley system, all while she remained unconscious.